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Filipino Tagalog - English Translation

1. Achuchuchu (A-chu-chu-chu): This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.

2. Ano (A-noh): The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.
(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)
(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/dead-uncle's-second-cousin)
(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)
(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)
(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)
(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?
The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting. "Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it," must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.

3. Booba (boo-bah): A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands, which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.

4. Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che): Same as achuchuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the reason why there are so many words in the Filipino language that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.

5. Epal (Eh-pal): An individual who believes he is God.

6. Gigil (gee-gil): An uncontrollable desire to bite something.

7. Hipon (Hee-pon): Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its head is thrown away, this refers to a female/male whose body is to die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.

8. Kikay (kee-kay): Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait. This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered notebooks.

9. Kaek-ekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn): Same as achuchuchu and chechebureche.

10. Kilig (keel-leg): A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence or even mention of he whom you see as the future father of your children.

11. Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip): The female counterpart of laglag-panti

12. Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee): A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground without effort whatsoever.

13. Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro): An individual who fails to appear at an appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused with individuals who appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end)

14. Japorms (Jah-porms): Describes an individual dressed differently from the usual (typically involves clothes that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same length).

15. Lagot (Lah-got): A prophesy of evil things to come.

16. Para (Pah-rah): A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe having one foot in the air is all that is necessary for descent.

17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa): Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a term used to describe the silent (very silent) minority of males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.


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English naman! Sino kaya mag-nonose Bleed?

Bill and his wife Blanche go to the state fair every year,

And every year Bill would say,

” Blanche, I’d like to ride in that helicopter ”

Blanche always replied,

” I know Bill, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,

And fifty bucks is fifty bucks! ”

One year Bill and Blanche went to the fair, and Bill said,

” Blanche, I’m 85 years old.

If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance ”

To this, Blanche replied,

” Bill that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks ”

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

” Folks I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don’t say a word I won’t charge you a penny!

But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars. ”

Bill and Blanche agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word…

When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said,

” By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.

I’m impressed! ”

Bill replied,

” Well, to tell you the truth

I almost said something when Blanche fell out, But you know,

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!


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English Jokes muna tayo!

Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.

For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.


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